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EOA (Saddest Place on Earth)
Music: Chuck Baker Lyrics: Pete Arbour

The graying man, in the toque with the buttons
“grin and beer it” and “I love beer”
He squats, and he “looks like he's soiling his pants when he dances”
He buys a rose for the Indian girl

The waitress claims that it's her birthday
And her name is “something like Kahlua”
And they both wear too much make-up

And the lady dressed well in the old car,
pops in and out with roses and stuffed animals
And,”I put a screwdriver through my hand,
trying to make a bird feeder out of a pop bottle.”

And it seems the music can't penetrate the sports of the place
And the illegal boys in their hockey jackets
wait for their fathers to finish their pitchers.
And the dispatcher needs relief, “seventy-four hours every week,
I'll be screaming for an encore I tell ya.”

And why couldn't this be, why couldn't this be
the saddest place on earth?

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